Home for the Holidays
by See Jane Write
Summary: Carter comes back to Chicago just in time for Christmas. Carby. Slight AU. Chapter 2 up.
1. Chapter 1

Home for the Holidays

Summary: Carter comes back to Chicago just in time for Christmas. Carby. Slight AU.

Author's Note: For all intents and purposes, all the Luby stuff that the actual writers are hinting at is not happening. Carby all the way!

Disclaimer: If _ER _was actually mine, Carter and Abby would be together.

* * *

John Carter looked down at his watch again. 11:35 P.M. on Christmas Eve. He was alone in a plane on the way back to Chicago. He was only about twenty minutes away from landing. However, he would not have someone waiting for him. No one even knew that he was coming. How would they react? How would he react? Things had to have changed while he was away. There was no doubt about that. 

What if too many things have changed? He knew he was an idiot for leaving. Why did he leave? To chase some cockamamie theory that he and Kem could get back together. Relations between the two of them were never the same since they lost Joshua. The two of them had changed too much over the year when they were apart. He was insane to think things could work between them.

He was even more insane to act upon his thoughts. Kem was not the woman for him. He knew it, and she knew it.

It had not started out huge. The two of them were treating a patient, and Carter called for Abby to assist them. Kem just dismissed it as Carter not having yet adjusted to the fact that they were in Africa, not County. Then Carter did it again the next week. Kem was a little less understanding, but she was still forgiving. She had to be for all that Carter gave up to be with her.

At first Carter agreed with Kem- it was just the fact that he was not used to being back in Africa. He was too used to County. But then he kept wanting to see Abby's face there. He looked for it each day. Although he knew she was thousands of miles away, Carter was still disappointed when she was not there. He found himself thinking more and more about her. He began loathing the sight of Kem for fear that he would call her Abby.

Then came the one day when he did.

_He and Kem were lying in bed. They were just lying there, about to drift off to sleep, when it happened. It seemed so harmless. Kem said good-night. Carter responded with a "'Night, Abby."_

_Kem's lips pursed as she sat up. Her eyes hinted that she was hurt, but not surprised. She only had one response. "John, do you think this can work between us? Answer honestly, or we're just wasting time."_

_Carter sighed heavily. He sat up as well and took Kem's hand in his. "No," he said finally. "I'm very sorry. You're a great woman, but--"_

_"But I'm not Abby," Kem finished. "I get it, Carter."_

_"I--"_

_"Don't," Kem interrupted. "Just leave, Carter. It's better for us in the long run. If you go now, maybe you'll have a chance of getting her back." The last couple words were spoken in a tone of disgust._

_Kem turned away, and Carter stood up. He kissed her hand lightly then left._

Kem's words echoed in Carter's mind. _A chance of getting _her _back._ Carter wondered how much of a chance it was. What did he know? It has been months since he was in the United States. Abby probably moved on with her life. When he left, she was with that Jake guy. Personally, he did not think it would work out, but he did not know. He could not be certain.

He glanced at his watch again. 11:50. He was almost ready to land. From there, it was a twenty minute cab drive to County. Twenty-five minutes until he would know. He did not even care if things between him and Abby would work. He had to see her.

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((So, what do you think? Worth continuing?)) 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Abby ducked into the supply room and glanced at her watch. 11:35 P.M. She only had twenty-five more minutes left on her shift. There were no incoming traumas. She highly doubted there would be one within the next twenty-five minutes. The only trauma she had to worry about was hiding from Luka.

Sure, he was nice. He was the nicest person to her on the staff, especially now that Carter and Susan were gone. She valued the friendship the two of them could share. It was nice.

But that was all it was for her. Nice. She did not want to give him a false impression. The two of them had tried dating. It didn't work out. Why should it work now? She did not really love him. She knew that, and on some level, Luka had to know it too.

She just did not know how to tell him. She did not want to seem mean. Urg. Men were too confusing. Any minute now Luka would be coming over to her. He would tell her that they did not need to be in the ER anymore. They could go to Haleh's Christmas show. He would smile at her. He would almost be too cute to refuse, but she had to.

Abby walked out of the closet and over to Exam One. Maybe if she made herself look busy enough, Luka would leave her alone. It could happen. She frowned as she saw Luka walking over to her. He was not alone. One of the first year residents was right beside him.

"Abby, this is Kevin," Luka introduced. "First year resident who just started, and he would love to take all your charts."

"A-a-are you sure?" Abby asked with a weak smile at Luka. "I mean, there's a lot of them, and if you just started, it could be overwhelming. Besides, my shift ends in about twenty minutes. I can handle it." Her mouth was getting dry. She had to convince this resident or any other resident not to take her patients. She did not want to go with Luka to the show. Sure, she would love to see it, and she would love company, but she was afraid of how Luka would interpret their going together. She could not give him the wrong impression about their relationship.

"I'm sure, miss," Kevin said as he took one of the charts from Abby's hand. "Go have a good time. I can handle it."

Abby nodded weakly again as she retrieved the rest of the charts from the desk and handed them off as well.

Luka smiled at her and handed her her coat. "Shall we go?" he asked.

Abby glanced up with a small smile on her face. "Sure," she said as she slipped her arms into her coat. She and Luka proceeded to walk out of the ER. Luka was calling 'Merry Christmas' to anyone who was left.

The two of them were outside. The cold air hit her face and she instinctively moved closer to Luka for warmth. Luka wrapped his arm around her as they left the ambulance bay. Once they got to the sidewalk, Abby could talk. She knew the two of them needed to. "Luka?" she asked.

"Yes," he responded. "Too cold outside? Do you want to walk faster?"

"No, nothing like that," Abby said. She finally looked him in the eye. "Can we talk?" she asked. She stopped walking and removed herself from his embrace. She moved in front of him and looked up at him. She was serious.

"Sure," Luka said. He looked back down at her. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Can you just let me do the talking?" Abby asked. "As in don't interrupt me until I'm done, ok?"

Luka nodded. He had a feeling that he would not like what Abby was going to tell him.

"Luka, you're a great guy. I mean that. These past two weeks could not have been better as far as I'm concerned. It was a lot of fun, but that's all it was for me. Fun. I don't feel anything towards you. I don't know if I ever can again." She drew in another breath. "I'm sorry."

Luka did not know how to react at first. His mouth was open as he stared at the petite woman in front of him. "I'm sorry, too," he finally said. "Sorry that we'll never know what could have happened."

"Luka, please," Abby said. "This is better for us in the long run."

Luka started walking back towards the hospital. "Carter's never coming back, Abby," he said in a slightly louder tone. "You can forget about that fantasy now. I'm all you have."

"Don't be ridiculous," Abby responded in the same tone. "This has nothing to do with Carter. This is about the two of us not being able to be more than friends."

Luka turned away from her. "If that'll help you sleep at night," he muttered as he walked back through the ambulance bay.

Abby stayed outside. The cold did not bother her as much. After having spent many years in Chicago, she had gotten used to the cold winters the city brought. It was not as cold as the previous Christmas Eve. She walked slowly down the sidewalk. As she walked, she kicked a few patches of snow and ice that were in front of her.

She could vaguely hear a car slowing down and pulling up to the curb. Most likely it was a tourist who was lost. Why anyone would be driving about around midnight was beyond her. Maybe if she looked like she was in a rush, the person would leave her alone and drive away.

She heard the car door opening. Someone got out and closed the door. The car drove away, leaving just her and the person from it on the streets. Her back was turned, so she could not see who it was. She quickened her pace a little.

"Abby," the person called. It was a man. A familiar man. Could it--No. It couldn't be. It was someone else. Maybe they were delirious and thought that she was a different Abby.

"Abby, come on, it's me," the man said as he rushed in front of her.

It was not a dream. She had heard him correctly. She smiled as she threw her arms around his shoulders. "Carter," she said back as she felt his arms going around her. He was warm. She loved that.

"Merry Christmas," Carter whispered.


End file.
